Networking is tough for most people, but it's excruciating for introverts. If you're an introvert, just the word, "networking" may be sending chills down your spine. But, we live in a world where most jobs can only be found through networking. Networking is a skill that can make or break your career. It can be overwhelming for introverts.

If you're an introvert, struggle with social anxiety, or just hate networking events, these tips are for you:

Aim to develop a small network with real connections

Good networking doesn't consist of collecting business cards as if they were Pokemon. Real networking requires real connections. It's rare for people to reach out to someone they met once at a networking event to offer a job or buy their services. People like connections. They will work with the people who treat them like they matter.

As an introvert, you're likely to prefer to connect with people rather than just glad hand them. Use this to your advantage. Ask people questions. Listen. Make real connections. A few real connections has a greater benefit than giving out 500 business cards that may just be thrown away.

Identify 2-4 people you admire and reach out to them.

Go to LinkedIn or to the website of a company that you want to work for and learn who the staff are. Find the people who interest you - the leaders, the doers, the person who has your dream job. What questions do you have for them? Do you want to know how they succeeded? If they would be willing to be a mentor? What advice they would give to someone at your level?

Reach out to them and ask these questions. Give a very brief introduction and then ask them what you want to know. Engage in their answers. Seek to really connect with them. It's likely that many people won't respond to you, and that is okay. The ones who do will value the time you've taken to forge a real connection, not just a networking contact.

Use your existing network

Make a list of everyone you know; friends, family, or colleagues. This is your current network. Identify the people that you feel most comfortable reaching out to. Maybe it's an old friend, a professor, a mentor. Send them a message and let them know that you are looking to build your network. Ask if they can connect you with anyone who they think would be a good fit for you. Having someone you trust make an introduction can be easier than just reaching out on your own.

Set reminders to keep in touch with people

Our lives are busy and it's easy to lose track of time. Sometimes years can go by without speaking to someone. When that happens, we may feel like the connection is lost. One way to avoid this is to set reminders to reach out. Set a reminder to reach out to the key people in your network every 3-6 months. It can be a simple email that asks a question, or a quick call just to check in. Ask about their projects, and then tell them about yours. The key to a solid network is connection, and we can't maintain connections without reaching out now and then.

Fake it 'til you make it

If you're feeling intense anxiety about reaching out to a contact or attending a networking event, take a few deep breaths and imagine what it would feel like to be confident. Fake it 'til you make it sounds trite, but it can actually be an effective tool when you're struggling to do something you don't want to do. Imagine what someone who was confident would do. Would confident you stride into the room and immediately introduce yourself? Would confident you email someone you admire letting them know that you think their work is excellent and that you would like to connect? Find out what the confident version of you would do, and then do it. Eventually, the confidence will begin to feel real.

You don’t have to do it alone

If you're still struggling with anxiety or have other career counseling questions, click on the contact button below to reach me. You can me a question via email, and if you're interested in learning more about how counseling can help you overcome obstacles and develop confidence, you can schedule your free 15-minute consultation. There's no obligation, so start today!