Three Tips for Better Communication
Miscommunication can cause significant problems at work and in relationships. Misunderstandings, assumptions, and lack of information cost time, money, and can even end relationships. Are you looking to improve your communication skills? Try these quick tips out today.
1 - Pause before speaking.
Humans have a tendency towards negative thinking and assumptions. While this helped us to avoid tiger attacks as we were evolving, it can hurt us in the day-to-day situations that we experience at work and at home. If you are in a difficult situation, or you notice any kind of tension or anxiety, stop and take a breath. You don't need to walk away or pause for a long time. Just a second or two is enough for the parts of your brain that are focused on survival to quiet down, allowing you to make a decision about how you will respond. Taking a quick pause can help you avoid saying things you regret, sending the conversation in the wrong direction, or acting on a misunderstanding.
2 - Know your triggers
All of us have things that set off anxiety, anger, fear, or other negative emotions. It's a normal part of the human experience. If we have a negative belief about ourselves or the world it can be difficult for us to see things clearly. This can lead to miscommunication and misunderstanding. How many times have you found yourself talking to someone and it feels like you are having two different conversations? How many times have you found yourself making assumptions about someone else's intent, how they feel about you, or how intelligent (or not intelligent) they are based on one or two words? These could be because you're filtering information through your own negative beliefs.
Take the time to get to know what your pet peeves are. What are the things that really bother you in conversation? Learn to recognize them. It's okay to have things that you don't like - we all do. But it's important to recognize when those things are influencing what you're trying to say. When we react based on our triggers it usually leads to misunderstanding. Get to know yourself so that you can communicate accurately.
3 - Understand what you want to say
Many people process ideas verbally, meaning that we like to say our thoughts out loud when we are trying to understand something. This is a common trait and there's nothing wrong with it. But sometimes it can create miscommunication and misunderstanding. If we enter into a conversation without a clear idea of what we want to communicate, we may end up saying something that is only partially thought out. We may stumble over our words and become nervous. We may miss out on listening to the other person entirely.
It's okay to take a few seconds to gather your thoughts before you speak. If you need more time, speak up. "Let me think about how I want to say this" is okay to say when you need a minute or two, or even if you need longer to truly decide how you feel and what you want to communicate. The key to communication isn't to be the loudest, speak the most, or to force the other person to feel a certain way. The key to communication is to understand what you want to say and to say it directly and accurately. If you need a little bit of time to do that, it's okay to take it.
It’s okay to ask for help
Hopefully these tips gave you some insight into better communication. If you're struggling with communication skills, whether it's due to anxiety, past trauma, or simply because you want to develop your career, True Grit Performance Counseling can help. Click on the button below to schedule your free, 15-minute consultation. There's no obligation, so reach out today!