What no one tells you about imposter syndrome

Imposter syndrome is a new term for a old experience: feeling like you're not good enough to be where you are. Nearly everyone has experienced this at some point in their lives. When you started a new job, were placed on a new project, got a promotion, got into your top school, got into a relationship with someone amazing, or became a parent you likely experienced at least a few fears that you weren't good enough to be there, and that someone would quickly figure it out and take it away.

Imposter syndrome feels factual. Even though you may tell yourself that feeling like you're not good enough doesn't mean anything, it really does feel like it is true. That is one of the most insidious things about imposter syndrome. It feels like it's coming from the logical part of you. It doesn't feel like normal insecurity or anxiety.

Here's the thing that no one tells you about imposter syndrome:

The intensity of your imposter syndrome indicates how passionate you are about being in this position. It has nothing to do with how little you deserve to be where you are.

Think about the times when you knew that you were in over your head or weren't ready for the next step. The feeling was different then. It wasn't anxiety about whether or not you deserved it. It was anxiety about whether or not you would be forced to do something you weren't ready to do. That kind of anxiety hits different.

Imposter syndrome happens when we are worried that we aren't good enough. When we feel like we are somehow undeserving of the things we have. It's directly related to how much we want to be where we are. We are afraid that we'll lose it, so we unconsciously try to focus on what we're doing wrong to prevent us from losing what we have. When there's no logical reason why we might lose something, our brain doesn't default to saying, "well it looks like everything is okay." It turns inward and starts finding ways that the problem is with you, because if there's something wrong with you, you can fix it.

Next time you start to wonder if you're a fraud, remind yourself that imposter syndrome simply means that you really care about what you are doing. Take the time to notice what you're doing right. It's probably a lot. Focus on what you did right. You can still improve on the things that could be better while you are focusing on the things you do well.

If you need more help overcoming imposter syndrome, or if you struggle with anxiety, overachievement, or to let go of your past, I can help. Reach out by clicking on the contact button below. You can email a question or schedule a free 15-minute consultation.